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You answer the door before people knock.
You ski uphill.
You can jump to the moon.
You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.
You speed walk in your sleep.
You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
You just completed another sweater and you don't know how to knit.
You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
You sleep with your eyes open.
When you open your dish cabinet, and there is only mugs.
You have to watch videos in fast-forward.
The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake.
You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.
You lick your coffeepot clean.
You're the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you don't even work there.
You've worn out your third pair of tennis shoes this week.
Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
You chew on other people's fingernails.
You're so jittery that people use your hands to blend their margaritas.
You can type sixty words per minute... with your feet.
The only gift you get for Valentines Day you get chocolate covered beans.
You can jump-start your car without cables.
Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low."
You don't sweat, you percolate.
You've worn out the handle on your favorite mug.
You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.
You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
Charles Manson thinks you need to calm down.
Every shirt or blouse you own has a coffee stain on it.
You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
People get dizzy just watching you.
You've worn the finish off your coffee table.
You're so wired, you pick up AM radio and people test their batteries in your ears.
Instant coffee takes too long.
You want to be cremated just so you can spend the rest of eternity in a coffee can.
You want to come back as a coffee mug in your next life.
Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.
Your hand is permanently shaped to hold your mug.
You'd be willing to spend time in a Turkish prison.
You go to sleep just so you can wake up and smell the coffee.
You're offended when people use the word "brew" to mean beer.
You name your cats "Cream" and "Sugar."
You get drunk just so you can sober up.
You speak perfect Arabic without ever taking a lesson.
Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position.
You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
You can outlast the Energizer bunny.
You short out motion detectors.
You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.
You think being called a "drip" is a compliment.
You don't tan, you roast.
You don't get mad, you get steamed.
Your three favorite things in life are...coffee before, coffee during and coffee after.
Your lover uses soft lights, romantic music, and a glass of iced coffee to get you in the mood.
You can't even remember your second cup.
You help your dog chase its tail.
You soak your dentures in coffee overnight.
Your coffee mug is insured by Lloyds of London.
You introduce your spouse as your coffeemate.
You think CPR stands for "Coffee Provides Resuscitation."
Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.
You answer the door before people knock.
You ski uphill.
You can jump to the moon.
You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.
You speed walk in your sleep.
You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
You just completed another sweater and you don't know how to knit.
You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
You sleep with your eyes open.
When you open your dish cabinet, and there is only mugs.
You have to watch videos in fast-forward.
The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake.
You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.
You lick your coffeepot clean.
You're the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you don't even work there.
You've worn out your third pair of tennis shoes this week.
Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
You chew on other people's fingernails.
You're so jittery that people use your hands to blend their margaritas.
You can type sixty words per minute... with your feet.
The only gift you get for Valentines Day you get chocolate covered beans.
You can jump-start your car without cables.
Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low."
You don't sweat, you percolate.
You've worn out the handle on your favorite mug.
You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.
You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
Charles Manson thinks you need to calm down.
Every shirt or blouse you own has a coffee stain on it.
You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
People get dizzy just watching you.
You've worn the finish off your coffee table.
You're so wired, you pick up AM radio and people test their batteries in your ears.
Instant coffee takes too long.
You want to be cremated just so you can spend the rest of eternity in a coffee can.
You want to come back as a coffee mug in your next life.
Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.
Your hand is permanently shaped to hold your mug.
You'd be willing to spend time in a Turkish prison.
You go to sleep just so you can wake up and smell the coffee.
You're offended when people use the word "brew" to mean beer.
You name your cats "Cream" and "Sugar."
You get drunk just so you can sober up.
You speak perfect Arabic without ever taking a lesson.
Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position.
You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
You can outlast the Energizer bunny.
You short out motion detectors.
You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.
You think being called a "drip" is a compliment.
You don't tan, you roast.
You don't get mad, you get steamed.
Your three favorite things in life are...coffee before, coffee during and coffee after.
Your lover uses soft lights, romantic music, and a glass of iced coffee to get you in the mood.
You can't even remember your second cup.
You help your dog chase its tail.
You soak your dentures in coffee overnight.
Your coffee mug is insured by Lloyds of London.
You introduce your spouse as your coffeemate.
You think CPR stands for "Coffee Provides Resuscitation."
Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.
